‘Conversations with My Mother’ Receives BlueInk Review
Author Ronald-Stéphane Gilbert mines his memories to stitch together an empathetic novel inspired by a beloved matriarch’s struggle with dementia.
Told in chronological chapters that alternate between brief scenes and lengthy episodes—and revolving around conversations between its characters—the first-person narrative opens with Rob Allaire and his 89-year-old French-Canadian mom, Yvette, outside a seafood restaurant in Maine, once his deceased father’s favorite dinner spot; today, it’s another painful reminder of Yvette’s mortality and her husband’s death. Rob lives in Ohio with his wife and son; the distance seems even greater now that Yvette struggles with health problems that require Rob’s sister, Diane, to be her live-in caretaker. Motivated by equal parts guilt and deep-rooted love, Rob prioritizes spending more time with Yvette—before Yvette’s sense of self is erased.
Yvette’s battle with dementia is written as an unpredictable, taxing journey that slowly begins to fuse past and present, challenging her children’s ideas about patience, forgiveness, and familial duty. Her transformation isn’t sudden, which makes her lapses in memory even more frustrating and heartbreaking. As Yvette worsens, she becomes more childlike and fearful, mistaking vivid nightmares and dreams for real events. Throughout, Rob’s perspective emphasizes Yvette’s kind heart, which remains, and Rob tries to be a voice of hope and reason—a sharp contrast to his sister’s responses to the daily stressors triggered by her domestic role.
Set against the backdrop of New England, this novel is grounded in lived realism. Gilbert doesn’t sugarcoat the reality of cognitive decline caused by dementia. … Even those whose parents haven’t suffered medical hardships will find much to contemplate in this emotionally nuanced depiction of a family forced to reckon with unthinkable circumstances.