Release Date: June 17, 2025
Size: 6 x 9
Paperback ISBN: 978-1-57869-400-6
eBook ISBN: 978-1-57869-699-4
Library of Congress Control Number: TBD
Booksellers and Libraries: Order Info Here or at Ingram.

SYNOPSIS

As soon as Polly and Rob meet, there is electricity between them, despite the fact that Rob is a devout Divinity student and Polly does not practice a religion. When they fall in love, she begins to wonder if their union can survive their theological differences. Over time, they build a multi-layered life of family and community, and Polly manages to create a comfortable space as a clergy wife.

In lyrical prose that is reflective, candid, and warm, this is the story of how an extroverted nonbeliever remained true to herself through three decades of marriage, three children, and four relocations. As Polly’s husband rose through the ranks to become an Episcopal bishop, she stayed steadfast in her love of literature, sports, nature, and her family, while deepening her understanding of herself, her husband, and marriage itself.

Praise

“Polly Ingraham’s memoir is a refreshing, honest, and insightful look at the life of a marriage, specifically the blessings and challenges of a union between a deeply religious man and a secular woman. With humor and practicality, not flinching from self-examination, Ingraham explores what it takes to love someone despite opposite life choices, and how a couple sacrifices for that love, both in a literal and metaphorical way.  I found the story moving way beyond any traditional clergy wife tale, asking deep questions about faith and commitment, and offering a hopefulness for the future of diversity.”

—Mary Carroll Moore, bestselling author of A Woman’s Guide to Search & Rescue and Last Bets

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“With tender honesty and infectious humor, Polly Ingraham unfolds the story of her initial attraction to, longing for, and eventual enduring commitment to a man with whom she has so much in common; and with whom she has a very big difference. Polly is not religious. Her husband Rob is a devout bishop. We travel along with them, in both tender and ordinary moments, as they find mutual understanding and discover new depths within their own souls. This book will convince you of the power of love in a divided world. Love can weave different lives together in a bond that makes each of us more our true selves than we could ever have imagined. This is simply a must read.”

—Jake Owensby, Bishop of Western Louisiana and author A Full-Hearted Life and Looking for God in Messy Places

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“‘Being married means, in part, being willing to move on in order to stay together,’ Polly Ingraham reminds us in Unconverted, her joyful, nourishing feast of a memoir. In the unique position of being the wife of an Episcopal bishop who also happens to be the handsome, charming love of her life, Ingraham’s thoroughly engaging first-person narrative confronts questions, familiar to many of us, concerning spirituality, the role of women in powerful institutions (including but not limited to the church), the changing definitions of love throughout a long marriage, and the achievement of personal success as a form of destiny. Readers will come away from Unconverted reassured that light—and lightness—can overcome any shadows or doubt cast by time or the uncertain heart.”

—Gina Barreca, board of trustees distinguished professor of English literature at University of Connecticut and author of They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted and Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeducation in the Ivy League

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“Anyone who has felt the pressure to conform to other people’s beliefs will recognize themselves in Ingraham’s story of marriage, church, compromise, and resistance. Unconverted: Memoir of a Marriage follows one woman’s quest for identity and community, and it wrestles with questions faced by many Americans who don’t share the faith of their neighbors, or even their spouses. How much do you bend? How much do you reveal? When you love someone with beliefs different from yours, can you connect deeply and commit fully while preserving your sense of self?”

—Kate Cohen, Washington Post columnist and author of We of Little Faith

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“Authentic on every page, Ingraham’s Unconverted is funny, exuberant, astonishingly honest, tender, and brave as the author explores some of the deepest questions of marriage and love and living into her own fullness. A compelling and vivid memoir—as real as it gets!”

—Diane Les Becquets, award-winning and national bestselling author of Breaking Wild  and The Last Woman in The Forest

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“With brave, bold, and beautiful prose, Polly Ingraham effectively presents internal conflicts in a strong marriage defined by contrast—a wife without religious background and a husband called into the Episcopal priesthood who becomes a diocesan bishop. The author’s determination to claim and proclaim her independent self is all the more moving and profound given her frequently uncomfortable immersion into church settings and her significant role in parenting and maintaining a household while advancing in her own career. The author’s curiosity, her intellectual and even academic investigation into tenets of Christianity and the specific denomination to which her spouse has devoted himself, demonstrates her urge to understand without committing to incompatible beliefs. Unconverted: Memoir of a Marriage reveals in powerful ways that what melds and sustains this couple—love, passion, admiration, acceptance, parenthood, and individuality—is more essential than a shared faith.”

—Margaret Porter, award-winning and bestselling author of fifteen historical and two contemporary novels 

Meet the Author

A graduate of Bread Loaf School of English, Polly M. Ingraham lives with her husband in Hopkinton, New Hampshire. She launched a blog, “The Panorama of a Pastor's Wife,” when her family was nestled for a dozen years in Western Massachusetts. This is her first book.